Return from Silence

Whew! The sesshin ended this morning. It has been a long and contemplative five and a half days, probably the longest period that I have not communicated to anyone (I must confess that I did, however, sent one SMS to my significant other!). I actually enjoyed the silence as people generally tend to talk too much. Have I awakened yet? Far, far from it ……… but definitely finding traces of the ox (the second of a legendary series of ten Ox-Herding Pictures that represent the stages of the Zen journey – for more on Zen Buddhism see my probably futile attempt to describe the indescribable in the next posting).

As mentioned in earlier posting a sesshin is best described as an intensive meditation programme. The daily schedule for our sesshin is as follows:

05:00 Wake Up Call

05:30 – 07:00 Zazen (25min blocks of sitting meditation broken with 5min walking meditation) and Dukosan (a traditional Zen practice where master meets one-on-one with student)

07:00 Breakfast

08:00 – 09:00 Samu/Seva (selfless service – similar to Karma Yoga in ashram - where we are each assigned a specific task)

09:15 Tea

10:00 – 11:00 Zazen

11:00 – 11:30 Free Zazen (independent sitting meditation outside zendo/meditation hall)

11:30 – 12:30 Zazen

12:30 Lunch

14:30 – 16:00 Zazen

16:00 Tea

17:00 – 19:00 Zazen and Teisho (another traditional Zen practice where master talks on the Dharma)

19:00 Supper

20:00 – 20:45 Zazen

In one day we would have meditated for 15 sessions – about 7½ hr. That’s a lot of meditation time but this is generally typical of a sesshin program whose sole and only purpose is to meditate, meditate and meditate. By the end of sesshin most of us were understandably drained (physically and mentally) and were quite relieved to see the end of it. Fortunately the asana and pranayama practice during my two weeks stay at the yoga ashram had helped me cope reasonably well with the physical aspect but just sitting still and following the breath for 7½ hr a day can be extremely difficult. The quality of meditation varies from sitting to sitting. During a good sitting when the mind is sufficiently calm glimpses of Emptiness are experienced. Within this vast, timeless, and silent space impressions arise without mental interpretations ….…….. a chorus of cicadas, the chirping of birds, the calls of wild peacocks, the slamming of doors, the swallowing of saliva, the clearing of throats, a cool breeze, the creaking of bones, the shifting of bodies, the scent of incense, a waft from the kitchen, unintelligible chattering of locals, distant honking of cars, buzzing of flies, humming of mosquitoes, groaning of tummies, strains of Tamil songs, etc., etc. And then the mind interrupts, intervenes and interprets – loud, sweet, beautiful, irritating, etc. – and, in an instance, Emptiness becomes Form again. On a bad sitting the monkey mind cannot be restrained and continually wanders – the pain in my ankle/knee, is my spine erect enough?, is my lower back arching properly?, the cooking smells lovely, what’s for lunch today?, my body is too tense, my body is too relax, it’s about bloody time, the bell must go soon, and so on and so forth. Zazen is fundamentally a meditation practice - the more we practise, the better the concentration gets.

“So meditation, why bother?” ……… a rhetorical question posed by the American Zen Master, Jun Po, with whom I did my first sesshin last March. Zazen is central to the Zen tradition and is the practice of seeing into your true Self. Followers of the Zen way believe that Buddha-nature is within each of us and this can be realised through zazen. However, Jun Po argued that meditation itself will not bring us this realisation. Firstly the mind has to be transformed/reframed/reindoctrinated to have the conviction that Buddha-nature is within us and, only then, meditation practice can reveal this true Self. Meditation with an incorrect understanding not only limits our insight, but can lead to suppression of feelings, rigid self identification, ego-inflation, mania or nihilism. Having a sitting practice is one of the most important steps one can undertake to awaken. But knowing exactly why you are sitting—having the right philosophical framework—is equally important.

The other effect of the sesshin is my heightened sensitivity to the surrounds. I am acutely aware of the different sounds. The sky has a deeper blue. I discern different shades of green. Colours of flowers seemed brighter and bolder. I perceive the swaying of trees and the subtle movement of leaves. Even the light has a different quality. The environment exudes such joyfulness that just to be alive and be part of it is enough. No, I am not on drugs but the feeling is quite similar. And this is only after five days of silent meditation retreat. Just imagine how a year of such intense practice can alter your perception of the world!

I must mention the glorious vegetarian meals here. That probably is what kept the forty or so of us (a global representation, including a fair number of locals, of mainly baby boomers with diverse spiritual inclinations) going. Breakfast is usually a variety of local morning snacks (idly, vadai, oothappam), home-made bread (toasted if desired), cereals, porridge, fruits and the occasional fried eggs. Tea and brewed coffee are always available. Lunch, the main meal, is the highlight of the day and is eagerly awaited – especially since this is straight after 2½ hr of sitting. The cooks continuously surprise us with some amazing dishes. The different types of curries (I suspect most of the vegetables are home grown) just taste divine. After a week here I still look forward to lunch daily. I have another three weeks here and I will endeavour to ingratiate myself with the cooks and uncover the wonderful recipes before I leave. Afternoon tea is served with a local delicacy and supper is a simple but still delicious affair (usually chappathi with dhal curry or some kind of soup).

I will leave you with one of the most venerated Buddhist sutras (we have to chant this sutra at least twice daily!). I think it is worth a few readings if you have an interest in Buddhism. Enjoy!

Great Wisdom Heart Sutra

Avalokitesvara, an Awakened One of great compassion, experiencing the clear deep truth of the transcendent wisdom of meditative awareness, clearly saw that all of the images, thoughts, feelings and emotional states of ego mind are empty of any permanent self-nature. Realizing this, he immediately transcended mental confusion and ego suffering and told Shariputra:
Remember that all manifested forms are no other than this emptiness. Emptiness is no other than all these manifested forms. Form is exactly emptiness, emptiness is exactly form. All of our thoughts, feelings, concepts, conscious states and volitional actions are also like this. We must remember that even spiritual life and practice are fundamentally empty. Within this deep meditative awareness, there is no birth, no death, nothing can be defiled, nothing is pure, nothing can increase, nothing can decrease. Hence, in this emptiness, there is no form, no
feeling, no thought, no volition, and no consciousness. There are no eyes, no ears, no nose, no tongue, no body, and no mind. There is no seeing, no hearing, no smelling, no tasting, no touching, and no thinking. There is no world of sight, no world of consciousness. There is no ignorance and no end to ignorance. There is no aging leading to old age and death and no end to aging leading to old age and death. There is no suffering, no craving, no extinction, no path, no wisdom and no attainment. Indeed, there is nothing to be attained.

The Awakened Ones rely upon this transcendent wisdom and experience no ego confusion or hindrance in this mind. No hindrance, therefore, no fear. Far beyond upside down views at last, this enlightened mind we call Nirvana. Past, present and future, all Awakened Ones, all compassionate ones, rely upon this transcendent wisdom of meditative awareness and, therefore, experience the most supreme awakening: Enlightenment.

Thus, know that transcendent wisdom is the greatest dharani, the brightest dharani, the incomparable dharani. This practice can completely clear the mind and end all ego suffering. This is the truth, not a deception. So embody this transcendent wisdom, manifest this wisdom, proclaim this dharani and Awaken!

Tadyatha!
Gate, Gate, Para Gate,
Parasam Gate,
Bodhi Swaha!

Holy Cow! A Zen Garden In India

Arrived yesterday at Bodhi Zendo (www.boghizendo.org) after a short but harrowing taxi ride from Kodaikanal. Bodhi Zendo is truly an amazing spiritual place. Situated on top of a ridge among the acres and acres of farm and forest land of St Joseph Agri Farm (owned by the Jesuit order) the zendo (meditation centre) has spectacular views of mountains and valleys. The grounds within, reminiscent of Zen gardens, are attentively designed and immaculately maintained. The sleeping accommodation is just luxurious by spiritual standards – single room with attached bathroom and parquetry flooring. And the food thus far exceeds expectation. Over and above the typical delicious South Indian vegetarian meals Western soups and toast (yes, toast with butter!!!) are also available. In addition tea and coffee are offered with every meal and, for breakfast, cereals are served as well. The best part is that meals are eaten with cutlery and on dining tables - quite a change after the cross-legged floor sitting and hand-managed meals at the ashram. So all things considered this place is a five-star spiritual retreat. Bodhi Zendo is open to all who practise Zen, or who wish to experience it. You can spend some days or weeks in silence and meditation, and experiencing the brotherhood of the Sangha. There is also a considerable library, with literature on Zen, Buddhism, Christianity, Philosophy, other religions and other subjects.

Bodhi Zendo serves as the center for Bodhi Sangha, an international community of followers of Zen-Master P. AMA Samy who is also a Jesuit priest. A brief biography, taken from the Bodhi Zendo website, of this highly interesting man:

Fr. AMA Samy (Arul Maria Arokiasamy) was born of poor Indian parents in Burma in 1936. As a boy he came into some contact with Burmese Buddhism and Buddhist monks. Back in India after the War, he was brought up for a few years by his maternal grandfather, who was a devotee of a Muslim saint and was caring for the burial shrine of the saint. The grandfather died in an accident leaving the young boy without support and guidance. However, the boy finished school and joined the Jesuits.

Even after becoming a priest, his heart was restless after God. His heart was not fulfilled by the then Christian spirituality. He began visiting Hindu ashrams and buddhist meditation centers. He was introduced to Ramana Maharishi by Swami Abhishiktananda, and was much moved by Ramana's vision. His quest and searching led him to become a wandering beggar for a while and settle down as a hermit near a holy shrine; the village people fed him.

It was the zen way which drew him most. With the help of Fr. Enomiya Lassalle, he went to Japan and was able to train with Yamada Ko-Un Roshi of Sanbo Kyodan. In 1982 Yamada Ko-Un gave him transmission and authorization to teach. Fr. AMA Samy is rooted in Christianity and in Zen; he can be said to stand in-between Hinduism, Buddhism and Christianity. He stands true to Christ, true to Zen and true to the human heart-mind.

I am slowly easing myself into life here. I thought the sesshin retreat starts early today but discovered that it actually commences this evening. The Japanese word for "Sesshin" means to come in touch with your heart. Sesshins last five to seven days. They are performed as intensive Zen retreats with absolute silence. Usually they include 14 - 16 twenty-five minute periods of sitting mediation each day. These sittings are accompanied by meditative walks (Kin-hin), private interview with the Zen teacher / master (Dokusan) and Teisho (Zen lecture). A Sesshin enables you to intensify your Zen practise and to gain inward purification. More of this later. As I will be retiring into silence (and total concentration) in the next six days................Om Shanti Shanti Shanti!

A Cool Change and A Short Break

Yesterday I arrived in Kodaikanal (a hill station on the Western Ghats 2000m above sea level) for a short break before I retire into seclusion for a month at Bodhi Zendo – a Zen meditation centre located about 20kms from Kodaikanal. It was a welcome relief to be in the cool climate here after the hot and humid weather (about 38C daily) at the ashram. On the last day of yoga training we learned and practised kriyas (cleansing techniques for the body). The first technique is cleaning the nostrils with water. We pour water in through one nostril with the help of a small plastic gadget and then let the water come out through the other nostril. This we managed without much difficulty. The second technique is cleaning the tube (not sure what this body part is called) between the nose and the mouth. This is done by inserting one end of a rubber catheter into one nostril until it reaches the back of the throat and then using the fingers the other end is pulled out of the mouth. Once this is achieved one then moves the catheter to and fro by holding the end at the nostril and the end at the mouth. This is then repeated for the other nostril. This technique is quite difficult as it is rather uncomfortable inserting a tube into the throat via the nostril. The third technique is cleaning the oesophagus by slowly swallowing a length of cotton gauze into the stomach and then slowly pulling the gauze out. This, of course, is rather difficult but the last technique (cleaning the stomach) takes the cake. This is done by swallowing copious amount of water and then vomiting it out. Only a couple of us (not me!) were game to try this seemingly gruesome method.

So are there any changes after two weeks at the Yoga ashram? For most of us we definitely felt healthier, calmer and spiritually more aware. Just the yogic diet together with the asana and pranayama practice would be beneficial to the body. For me this would have been the longest for a long while that I have continuously eaten wholesome vegetarian food and not imbibe alcohol of any kind. (And I still have not had a beer after arrival in Kodaikanal!!!). My knowledge of Vedantic philosophy has increased and I have a much better appreciation of the different manifestations (and their relationships) of the Brahman in the Hindu religion (if one can call it a religion). The greatest benefit for me was living in an environment where I can continuously tune my body, mind and spirit to the higher Self without any distractions. Personally I wish there is more meditation time but for others an hour of meditation is more than enough. Overall my spine is suitably strengthened and my mind is clear and calm. These two weeks have certainly prepared me for the week-long sesshin (intensive Zen meditation) that is starting this Monday.

But first a couple of days to chill out in Kodaikanal. Kodai (as the locals call it) is a stunningly situated and hassle-free hill station on the Western Ghats about 120km northwest of Madurai ( a 3½hr bus ride away). Kodai is the only hill station set up by Americans, when missionaries established a school for European children here in 1901. The legacy of this is the renowned Kodaikanal International School whose cosmopolitan influence is felt throughout the town. Children of expats and wealth Indian families are visible all over town and restaurants offer an excellent variety of cuisine that is atypical of most other small towns in India. Kodai has also attracted the locals and is now the hill station of choice to escape the heat and haze of the plains. Between mid-April and mid-June the place is packed with local holiday makers (the middle class and the rich) from all over South India and beyond. As I arrived in the midst of the high season I had difficulty finding a room and had to pay more than I expected. There are hardly any foreign travellers here (I was the lone foreigner on the bus up) as there is really nothing much of interest in Kodai. But the place suits me – nothing to do and nowhere to go.

A Week Later

Today is a free day at the ashram and I had my first foray into Madurai and tasted a most delicious rasa (onion) dosa and the best masala chai ever.



A week has swiftly gone by in the Sivananda Vendata Meenakshi Ashram, one of nine world-wide ashrams in the Sivananda Yoga Vendata organisation. This ashram is located about 2kms from Madurai and the word ‘Meenakshi’ is the name of the deity of the awe-inspiring and famous Sri Meenakshi Temple in Madurai, a six hectares complex with its twelve colourful, intricately carved gopurams (towers). The ashram is situated within a forest reserve of vibrant natural beauty. Fruit trees (mangoes, chikkus and guavas), wide-open spaces, abundant wildlife (peacocks, monkeys, a variety of birds,squirrels), simple living structures and healthy South Indian vegetarian diet make this an ideal place for the serious study of classical yoga techniques. The two-week Yoga Vacation course offers participants an opportunity to live an ashram life and learn the five main principles of yoga as synthesised by the founder Swami Vishnudevananda – 1. Proper exercise (asana) 2. Proper breathing (pranayama) 3. Proper relaxation (savasana) 4. Proper diet (vegetarian meals) 5. Positive and spititual thinking (meditation and chanting). Our daily schedule is as follows:
05:30 – Wake up bell
06:00 - Satsang (group meditation, chanting and talk)
07:30 - Tea break
08:00 – Asana class (breathing exercises, postures and relaxation)
10:00 – Vegetarian meal
11:30 – Karma yoga (selfless service)
13:30 – Tea break
14:00 – Yoga talk (vedantic and yogic philosophy)
16:00 - Asana class (breathing exercises, postures and relaxation)
18:00 – Vegetarian meal
20:00 - Satsang (group meditation, chanting and talk)
22:00 – Lights out

Although it is a busy routine it does leave us feeling peaceful and relaxed, inspired and recharged. The day always begins with meditation and mantra chanting as these activities calm the mind and set the mental state for the day. After tea we have our first session of asana practice which is always preceded by half an hour of pranayama (control of the prana) exercises that include kapalabhati (cleansing breathing exercise) and anuloma viloma (alternate nostril breathing). Pranayama allows us to release our pranic energy (similar to chi in the Chinese tradition) and energises our whole being. The asana practice as with most asana traditions always starts with Surya Namaskar (Sun Salutation) which is really a warm-up exercise. With the Sivananda approach we only practise sequentially twelve asanas beginning with sirasana (headstand) and ending with trikonasana (triangle pose). Another difference with the Sivananda practice is that sarvasana (corpse pose) is performed in between the twelve poses instead of just at the end of the asana practice as with most other styles.

After asana practice is the first meal of the day. The vegetarian meals are not only delicious but also nutritious. Brunch is normally rice with a curry and three side dishes together with roti/chappathi and pappadam as well. The best part is that the kitchen staff will continually come round and serve you till you signal no (meals are eaten silence). Most times I will have three or more helpings of pappadam. For dinner there is usually a variety of other South Indian dishes such as idlis, uthappams, idi yappams and appmas. As you can imagine meal time is always something to look forward to.



Once a day we perform an hour of Karma Yoga (selfless service). This usually involves cleaning the dorm, showers, toilets, Yoga hall, library and reception areas, and garden maintenance. And in the afternoon there is an hour of theory where vedantic and yogic philosophies are presented and discussed. The day always concludes with another hour or so of meditation and chanting. So as you can see an ashram or any spiritual centre (e.g. monastery) isolates the residents from the daily distractions of the outside world and provides a disciplined and conducive environment for personal spiritual growth. I would certainly recommend a stay in such places if you have a spiritual inclination of any persuasion.

The Beginning

This blog was created to record and share my six months spiritual odyssey in India which commenced on May 1st with the beginning of the two weeks ‘Yoga Vacation’ at Sivananda Vedanta Meenakshi Ashram near Madurai. This journey really started more than thirty years ago in the mid 1970s when I first became interested in Eastern philosophy especially Zen Buddhism. I read the usual – the essays of D.T. Suzuki, the books of Watts, Herrigel, and Hesse, the poems of Rumi, the writings of Krinshnamurti and the sutras from the different Buddhist traditions. Although I read widely I was too inexperienced to fully understand what I read. Owing to a lack of commitment and circumstance I did not find any teacher or follow a specific discipline other than daily meditation practice. Though the fervour waned after a few years the experience gained during those seeking years has offered me fragmented glimpses of Buddhist teachings and left a yearning that was to resurface again thirty years or so later.

Early last year I started going to asana practice (I avoided using the commonly misused term ‘yoga’ of which asana practice is one of its eight aspects). In due course I was arduously perusing books on yoga. The reading of the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali (the ‘bible’ of the Yoga tradition) not only gave me an insight to yogic philosophy but also enlightened me to the remarkable similarities between the Yoga and the Buddhist traditions and the realisation that Siddhartha Gautama was a yogi before he became Buddha (the Awakened One). The practice of Yoga according to Patanjali is to calm the fluctuations of one’s mind (Citta Vrtti Nirodadh – borrowed for the title of this blog) in order to achieve the state of Samadhi (where there is no subject-object separation). In his Sutras Patanjali states that the eight limbs (parts) are 1. yama (abstinence) 2. niyama (observance) 3. asana (posture) 4. pranayama (breath control) 5. pratyahara (sense withdrawal) 6. dharana (concentration) 7. dhyana (meditation) 8. samadhi (super-consciousness state). In Western society asana practice is often confused with the traditional yoga practice as yoga is much more than asana practice and the final goal of yoga is Samadhi.

Likewise true Buddhist practices also strives to still one’s mind to the point where duality is extinguished (labelled in different Buddhist traditions as Nirvana, Satori, Oneness, No Mind, Void, Oneness, etc., etc). And in both the Yoga and Buddhist traditions one of many paths leading to this self-realisation is meditation. And it is, in my view, the different approaches to meditation that differentiates the many spiritual traditions. So, in essence, one simply just has to sit (i.e. meditate) and self-realisation would come. My interest in yoga made me restless again and eventually led to my taking a year off to immerse myself in the classical Yoga and the various Buddhist traditions.

March 2010 saw me attending my first sesshin session - a seven day silent Zen meditation retreat – led by an unorthodox American Zen Master in Australia. I struggled painfully through the first few days with numb legs and sore back but by mid-week I was able to meditate without much discomfort for four to five hours daily albeit in block of thirty minutes sitting sessions broken up with ten minutes of walking meditation. The Zen philosophy is quite simple – Buddha is within all of us and we can come to this realisation through meditation. (Interestingly the word Japanese word ‘Zen’ comes from the Chinese word ‘Chan’ – as in the Chan Buddhism, the precursor to Zen Buddhism - which in turn comes from the Sanskrit word ‘dhyana’ (the seventh limb of Yoga) which means meditation.) The encouraging experience with my first structured Zen practice has inspired me to pursue the Zen approach to meditation and, as a consequence, I decided to schedule a month’s stay in a Zen Centre near Kodaikanal in the Tamil Nadu state.